Hard Conversations Made Easy

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Having those hard conversations with your child isn’t always easy. Sometimes, we, as parents, are so afraid to get it wrong that we simply stop trying to get it right. But, just like good communication is the key to any successful relationship, the same goes for the parent and child. The only difference is, this relationship is probably the most important one you or your child will ever have.

As parents, we all wonder why every other parent was handed a handbook at their child’s birth, and we were the only ones who didn’t get a copy. That is not true. We all learn as we go, but there’s simple steps that can be taken to make the communication aspect easier from the get. Finding tools to bridge the gaps that act as barriers to effective communication is critical to building a solid parent-child relationship.

Three Barriers To Communication Included:

Many parents fail at this basic step because they lack experience and/or skills, but unless you’ve been through parenting classes, or raised other children and got it 100% right the first time (which no one does) this is something that can be learned and adapted to your own family’s make-up and lifestyle. Single parents may need to have an entirely different style than their married or co-parenting counterparts. Same thing goes for parents of only children vs. parents of more than one child. Family size, composition, age, geography and socioeconomic factors all go into play into mapping out a style.

Lack of skills goes hand in hand with learning your own parenting style. But again, no child is born with a blueprint, so don’t stress this point. When they say parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever have, they were right, but it’s also the most important job on earth. Like with any job, skills can be learned.

Fear is normal. If you’re not scared, that’s a little strange, frankly. Fear just shows you care enough to want to be the best parent possible, and clear communication, especially during those difficult conversations, is the best pace to start.

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Most parents have a hard time having simple conversations, but the waters get a little muddier when they’re about difficult topics like sex, drugs, divorce, finances, moves, the birth of another child, etc. It’s not that they aren’t able to get it right, sometimes the fear starts with just thinking you always have to get it right.

Communication barriers stand in the way of having open relationships and conversations. There are several keys to help knock down the walls that act as these barriers.

10 Barrier Breakers

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1. Ask For What You Need

Asking for what you need can be tough because we always want to give of ourselves to our kids and we forgo the fact that we have needs too. Think about the airplane crash scenario. They always tell you to put your oxygen mask on before putting on anyone else’s. That’s because if you don’t keep yourself safe, you can’t be there to care about anyone else. Asking for help is essential because if a child doesn’t know what you need from them, whether it be a certain behavior or understanding, they won’t know how to react. Parents should lead the way when it comes to opening the door of effective communication and this can start by simply asking.

2. Be Prepared

We’re all busy these days, with school work and social lives. Just like other important meetings, set a day and time with your child to sit down and talk about things. Make the time convenient for both of you, so your child understands that you value their time, and expect them to value yours as well. Be prepared to get started right away, so making a list of topics or questions ahead of the set meeting time is essential.

3. Don’t Be Afraid To Get It Wrong At First

Just because you’re the parent’ doesn’t mean you’re always right. The old adage, “Because I said so” never worked before, and it certainly doesn’t work with kids today. Be open, look for ways to problem solve, and be prepared to be wrong – or at least, not always being right.

4. Set Realistic Expectations

Be prepared for reasonable outcomes. Don’t expect too much from your child or yourself. These conversations, though not always easy, shouldn’t have to feel hard either. By minimizing the need for having a perfect outcome, the pressure will be decreased and the communication will be increased.

5. Set Goals

What would you like from the conversation? Think about it ahead of time so you don’t enter into the time you’ve set aside without a reason or goal in mind. It’s also important to keep the conversation going until you reach those goals. Sometimes it’s easier to divide the conversation into milestones, so it doesn’t become overwhelming for either of you.

6. Speak Up

Your feelings and needs are just as important as those of your child, so make sure you voice this at the start of the conversation. You’ll teach your child the value of self-respect by showing them that you respect your own feelings

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7. Leave Assumptions At The Door

Don’t assume to know anything, and don’t assume they know either. Remember the old saying about when you ASSUME, it makes an ASS out of U and ME? Enough said.

8. Ask Questions

Write down a list of questions before you start the conversation. It’s okay to read them and not pretend to have memorized them. The realer you are, the more open they’ll be.

9. Be Willing To Hear What You DON’T Want To Hear

Just because you want a conversation to go a certain way doesn’t mean it will. Be open and willing to hear what you might not want to hear. This goes back to setting realistic expectations and not being afraid of being wrong.

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10. Lighten Up

Keep the conversation light and keep anger at the door. You might feel like raising your voice, but the loudest voice gets heard the least.

Following The D.E.A.R M.A.N. Acronyms!

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G.I.V.E (And Take)

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More Ways To Bridge The Communication Gap

Get to Know Social Media Platforms

Do Your Best to Be Involved in School Issues/Stay in Contact With Teacher/Counselors and let Them Know You Want to Be Involved

Establish Comfort Level and Seek Help When You’re Feeling in Over your Head

Only Give Enforceable Consequences

Having hard conversations might not be easy, but tackling high hurdles can land the greatest rewards. No matter how many barriers might be standing in the way of starting the tough talks, the best way to start a hard conversation is – to start.

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Johnny Pickett

Patient Advocate

Jamie Nelson

Case Manager

Stephen Carmel

Co-Founder & CFO

I began my journey to recovery back in 2011 when i moved to California from New York.Along with my recovery and beginning a new way of life, I began to develop a heart for others struggling with sobriety.My journey to California was filled with many trials and lessons learned, but most of all, personal growth. I truly believe I would not have found success if I didn’t come to California.

I first opened an adult treatment center, California Prime Recovery(CPR) as a way to work with those struggling on a daily basis. Over the last 3 years, CPR has evolved into someting much more impactful and beautiful than i could’ve ever imagined. I have come to realize that my own happiness and growth depends on being involved in the lives of others in recovery. Helping people through recovery is a cornerstone of many 12 step programs, and it has become the most important aspect of personal life. Giving back to those still suffering is the only way not to lose what you have gained.

Throughout this journey, and by mentoring many adolescents, I realized i wanted to offer more to teens who were struggling just as i was. This is when i decided to start OC Revive. I had built many wonderful relationships throughout my professional journey and found two others who shared the same vision, and passion that i had for the youth. It didn’t take long for myself, Tyler Michaelis, and Derek Walsh to turn our dream into a reality. We are committed to providing the best possible treatment for adolescents and truly believe “their future is our collective responsibility”.

Derek Walsh

Co-Founder & COO

As Co-Founder & COO of OC Revive, Derek has a wealth of personal and professional experience dealing with the issues faced by today’s troubled teen. Throughout High School and College, Derek struggled with peer pressure, learning challenges, and substance abuse. Working with the support of family and friends, Derek set out to conquer those obstacles and find a richer, more fulfilling life.

On 15 October 2012, Derek overcame his own substance abuse problem and dedicated himself to help others work through their own addiction. A year later, Derek began a new journey and started his career in the recovery industry. Throughout his career, Derek has worked his way through numerous roles at top-rated treatment centers. While working at those treatment centers, Derek began to see a pattern that those struggling individuals would’ve benefited immensely from receiving earlier in life.

Derek decided that he wanted to be a part of the solution, and find a way to address those issues at an earlier age. He concluded that there needed to be interventions before adulthood, and he didn’t want to see anyone going through the same cycle that he did. That was when he and Tyler Michaelis decided to start OC Revive, to make sure teens get the help they need to find a purpose that leads them to a life of happiness and success.

Derek attended college at Orange Coast College and Santa Barbara City College.

Brittany Astrom

Clinical Supervisor

Brittany joins the OCR team with over 15 years of experience in the Mental Health adn Substance Abuse field. Brittany has been licensed for almost 8 years and has worked in various settings throughout her career, including inpatient psychiatric treatment, outpatient, residential treatment center, PHP and IOP settings. Brittany has been supervising Associate Marrige and Family Therapists and Associate Social Workers for almost 6 years and works in compiance and auditing to ensure that treatment centers are up to par with biling regulations. Brittany has worked with young adults and adolescents for most of her career.

Brittany earned her Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy at California Baptist International University. Brittany enjoys working with adolescents and young adults and believes that ever single person has the ability to set goals and meet them, even when they can’t see it themselves. Brittany loves spending time with her family, traveling, good coffee, and being outdoors.

Patrick R. Smith

Program Director

Patrick is a mental health and addiction professional who has a passion for recovery and helping others. He was inspired and encouraged by his mentors to work with individuals and families that have been affected by mental health issues, and alcohol and drug addiction. He has been working in the field of addiction recovery for 23+ years and is an Internationally Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor and a Licensed Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor through the California Consortium of Addiction Programs and Professionals. Patrick is also certified in Adult and Adolescent Anger Management. His career in addiction treatment began in 2001 at the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage CA. as an Addiction Specialist working on the inpatient campus and is the co-creator of Betty Ford Center’s “Young Adult Track” specializing in work with 18-25-year-old Patients. He also excelled in working with addicted and impaired professionals in the “Relapse and Recovery Program”.

Patrick transitioned to Orange County in 2011 where he accepted a position as the Program Director for Orange County Recovery Services. Patrick is a gifted lecturer, group facilitator, and counselor with a passion for recovery who has been an active recovery member for over 25 years.

Anthony Fletcher

Director Of Business Development

Anthony is an Orange County local and has been a great addition to the Oc Revive team. Since 2015, Anthony has been working in the substance abuse field and has also pursued his drug and alcohol counseling license. Since being with Revive Anthony has established a relationship within the School Districts and serves as a voluntary speaker for substance abuse awareness in the community. By sharing his personal testimony, he has excelled in gaining trust and building rapport with others. He always seems to have a smile on his face and brings a positive vibe wherever he goes. With that being said, Anthony is very passionate about the work that he does and goes above and beyond to provide our struggling youth the care that they so desperately need.

Levi Sweet

Director of Operations

Brian Welsh

Director of Admissions

Chandra Medina

Lead Therapist

Kelly Pearson

Therapist

Christina Gherman

Therapist

Tyler Michaelis

Founder & CEO

Tyler is dedicated to providing the highest quality of care to teens and their families. Once a teenager that struggled with addiction, mental health, and poor choices, Tyler is aware of the growing demand and need for early intervention in adolescents and young adults. Growing up in Orange County, he battled addiction and peer pressure all throughout high school and during his time at Saddleback College. During those troubled years, Tyler’s parents and family were emotionally drained and heavily impacted by his addiction. Unfortunately, they did not know where to turn for help nor did they have the courage to set boundaries with him.After 7 painful years, they finally forced Tyler out of the house and into treatment at the age of 23.

April 5th, 2010 is a date that Tyler and his family hold dear. On that date, Tyler enrolled in a 4-month treatment program which laid the foundation for his recovery. With the help of treatment professionals, supportive friends and family, Tyler was able to build a better version of himself. This started with slowly building his self-esteem, and growing a community of peers to support him throughout recovery.

In 2011,with the desire to help others struggling with addiction, he decided to start working in the addiction field. Tyler obtained his CADAC || Counselor certification and graduated from Cal Sate University of Long Beach with a degree in Health Care Administration. Since then, Tyler has worked all areas of treatment starting as a detox technician and working his way up to Program Director. Today, Tyler feels blessed and grateful for getting a second chanse at life. He has a great relationship with his family, is happily married and has a great group of friends. Once a lost teen, Tyler now has purpose and passion. He’s dedicated his life’s work to helping teens and their families. As the Founder, Tyler Michaelis is confident that OC Revive will renew the lives of struggling teens while bringing back hope to their families

Tylor Ramsey

Therapist

Patrick Fernandez-Her

AMFT Therapist

Steven Simon

Admissions

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Alejandro Alva, M.D.

Medical Director

Kayli Sullivan

Director of HR & Compliance

Carl Kutter

Operations Manager

Mustafa Stanizai

Case Manager

Allyson Lake

Case Manager

Ashley Becher

Admin Assistant

Kortnee Carralejo

Admissions

Madalyn Johnson

Case Manager

Matthew Lawler

Therapist - AMFT

Helen Riccobono

Therapist - AMFT

Rachel Dickinson

Therapist - AMFT

Max Howell

Case Manager

Leah Perle

Therapist

Angela Castellano

Case Manager

Tyler Michaelis

Founder & CEO

Tyler is dedicated to providing the highest quality of care to teens and their families. Once a teenager that struggled with addiction, mental health, and poor choices, Tyler is aware of the growing demand and need for early intervention in adolescents and young adults. Growing up in Orange County, he battled addiction and peer pressure all throughout high school and during his time at Saddleback College. During those troubled years, Tyler’s parents and family were emotionally drained and heavily impacted by his addiction. Unfortunately, they did not know where to turn for help nor did they have the courage to set boundaries with him.After 7 painful years, they finally forced Tyler out of the house and into treatment at the age of 23.

April 5th, 2010 is a date that Tyler and his family hold dear. On that date, Tyler enrolled in a 4-month treatment program which laid the foundation for his recovery. With the help of treatment professionals, supportive friends and family, Tyler was able to build a better version of himself. This started with slowly building his self-esteem, and growing a community of peers to support him throughout recovery.

In 2011,with the desire to help others struggling with addiction, he decided to start working in the addiction field. Tyler obtained his CADAC || Counselor certification and graduated from Cal Sate University of Long Beach with a degree in Health Care Administration. Since then, Tyler has worked all areas of treatment starting as a detox technician and working his way up to Program Director. Today, Tyler feels blessed and grateful for getting a second chanse at life. He has a great relationship with his family, is happily married and has a great group of friends. Once a lost teen, Tyler now has purpose and passion. He’s dedicated his life’s work to helping teens and their families. As the Founder, Tyler Michaelis is confident that OC Revive will renew the lives of struggling teens while bringing back hope to their families